DazeD_JennY
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| Sunday, January 7th, 2007 | | 2:39 am |
Im In LOVE Yet Im Sitting Here crying \ inspires my Revelution of 2007
Im in love AGAIN , I know it fall to fast , I know its to fill the emptiness that i feel every time that i am alone, which seems to be the case alot Thats why even tho im not pregnant from the man who raped me (which i havent told anyone about until this moment but im ok, i would have told someone if i wasnt , ive told people well really only curtis that ive done coke. if i can admit that , then i can admit that i was rapped but also i can admit i was drunk and may have led this guy on a but but i was not drunk enough to not remember telling him i didnt want to have sex , which i did say but im ok anyways ) who i will never see again, in a kinda weird way i wish that i was , because that baby would love me, But then i met doug who fills the gap, plus im not ready for a baby But now i have found someone who sees me for me and tells me im beautiful everyday someone who respects me ,someone who makes me get the butterflies , someone who sits with me for hours and listens to country music and just hold my hand or strokes my hair or just lays there and lets me jut lay there with my head on his chest even though he hates country music well 98%of it , someone who is just undesciable, but ... and in the story of life of JENN there is always a but , and here it is , ive only known him for 2 months , his name id doug . hes 31 divorced has a kid , and in less than a month is going to find out if he has prostate cancer and is gonna die and if he has cancer he is gonna move back to ontario where he came from ..... i dont know , what to do , im in love more with dough than i ever was well maybe not ever but its different than what it ever was with brice and ryan and josh but those all ended not in the favor of me either and in my guts thats whats gonna happen here , but this time its different , i love/ like him enough that if he wants me to i want to go to onterio with him ... i dont know what to do , well i do know what to do , what the old Jenn would do but its a new Year im gonna deal with my life like i should , im not gonna go drink , im not gonna go do coke or drugs , im just gonna hang out with doug whos 31 and pretend im ok and then when im not with him, im gonna fall apart like i am right not , But im not gonna drink or do drugs , because thats the old Jenn, And its "07" so im gonna try and change , but its hard to change when i dont know how .... can someone please just tell me more than "Jenn you have to do it on your own" or "Jenn your fine on your own" , what if im not ok om my own , what if i fail, because thats what i know...... Current Mood:  \ ReleivedCurrent Music: Through The Glass | | Sunday, November 26th, 2006 | | 3:42 am |
im so loadedd rigght noww
im so loaded right noewe .... iam also super er depredssed about , i dotnt get it ,what is my reasone for life?? ...................................... so im tryuiu to stay + so i lsiten thoo the happee song ... Ouga Chaka ouga! .... I can't stop this feeling Deep inside of me. Girl, you just don't realize What you do to me. When you hold me In your arms so tight, You let me know, Everythings alright, ahahah I'm hooked on a feeling, I'm high on believing, That your in love with me. Lips as sweet as candy. Their taste stays on my mind. Girl, you keep me thirsty for another cup of wine. I got it bad for you girl, But I don't need a cure, I'll just stay addicted, If I can endure All the good love, when we're all alone Keep it up girl, yeah you turn me on. I'mmm, I'mmm Hooked on a feeling. I'm high on believing that your in love with me. All the good love, when we're all alone Keep it up girl, yeah you turn me on. Ahaha I'm hooked on a feeling, I'm high on believing, That your in love with me. I'm hooked on a feeling, I'm high on believing, That your in love with me. I say I'm hooked on a feeling, And I'm high on believing, That your in love with me. I'm hooked on a feeling. but i dott realluy feel any more good so i lestemn too Trapped inside a broken world Condemned, fallen Nowe you are home A drought ridden spirit Useless fear is sought again For the next self-induced fall Dreams discarded Spiraling into depression Spiraling into depression Still you cannot bear all this pain Still you cannot bear to drift away Darkness still rips silently within Still you cannot bear all the shame Alone in your circle of despair Your dreams are discarded Clinging to a sterile existence Self-pity and lingering grief Depleted and beaten Nailed to insecurities Life's forfeit and no longer your own The day becomes night Still you cannot bear all this pain Still you cannot bear to drift away Darkness still rips silently within Still you cannot bear all the shame Blinded by death are the living undone THATS HOW IM FEELn Current Mood:  drunk | | Friday, September 8th, 2006 | | 7:27 pm |
WOW THIS IS WEIRD ..........
September 7 i woke up and i had just had a dream that Ryan ( from rex stiff) was playing poker with me and scott (also from rex stiff) and a bunch of other people , but then at like 5 in the morning i needed to go home , so ryan offered to give me a ride , but in stead of going to my house we were just sitting in his car .... this is where i woke up. September 7 Scott calls me to go play poker so im like sweet , So Ryan is there and wes and brad and some others, so im getting all of these shitty hands so i fold the. and play some that dont end up so well , and so im out , so im just watching the others play and then scott goes out , so he goes inside and is watching a movie and falls asleep and , so at 2 when i go inside to see if hes gonna give me a ride , hes sleeping so ryan offers to give me a ride home , so im like ok. so he drives me home and were parked out side of my house and i dont know if this will make scense but when your playing poker you can usually figure out what the other players have because they give off a tell , so were sitting in front of my house and im reading him like an open book, he wanted to kiss me , and i folded my cards , i didnt kiss him , .......that right there was then end of my dayza-view dream ... i should have kissed him ........ arrrrgggg ................ September 8 im going to a movie with Scott and Andy and it should be fun , but im kinda getting a weird feeling , because i dont like scott in any sexual manor or being in a relationship with scott and i think i might be giving him the wromg impressions and i dont wannt too , Question : do i just tell him this , ? i dont know i still wanna hang out and play poker and shit .. but i just hope thats all hes thinking also , and i dont like ryan again ... but i just should have kissed him to see if there was anything there .... I wish i wasnt such a bitch : so there are these to guys that i work with at work and i like both of them a bit , but jamie has 2 teeth missing , on the side , you cant even tell , and Edmond he is french and doesnt speak very good english , and i cant like either of them because i still want the other one to talk to me .... Current Mood:  not mad but confused !!!!!!! | | Sunday, August 20th, 2006 | | 6:36 pm |
Dont Judge me
So since the last time i wrote i have not been so good but now im ready to write it down ..... April 4th till August 20 - hang out with josh every day , i love him so much - have sex with him - think our relationship is going Great - ITS MY BIRTHDAY 18 - win wet t-shirt contest - go to school , write diplomas , Graduate - work hangout with josh - then.... - Me and josh broke up so he could make out with someone else .... - stil go to his grad with him m find out he cheated on me - met a great guy named steve - got into a fight with joshes new girlfriend - hung out with jodi and steve and scott and matt and carol got drunk did some coke ... (yeah i did coke ) - got drunk every day for like a week - had sex with steve - everything was good for like a week - found out steve wasnt such a nice guy , he was the bigget asshole ever he was calling her names and shit for no reason - got drunk , did some more coke - got into a hge fight with carol , who is my best friend - go to the strippers , the corona get drunk - make out with this guy that i work with ( phillip) , and tell one person and then no one at work wants to talk to me , b.c the girl changed all the words and what not so it sounded so much worse tham me just kissing someone.. - go to the corona - go to the srtippers - hate my life , because no one at work is talking to me . other than the fork lift driver who i kinda like now - people at work start talking to me , because they realized that the girl was just making up shit, because she wanted him - go out to the corona dance drink , - get into a fight with carol , then she leaves me , - drink go home with the sexiest cowboy i have ever met , have sex , - me and carol make up - go out for some drinks ,then she goes to ezzies - i go to a house party pull some muscles in my knee cap trying to get onto the deck , i land the wrong way on my knee then i smoke some pot - tell jamie , that i like him - catch a cab home .... - theres more in there like me and carol hanging out everyday , but thats not important plus , i work everyday .... so now i dont reaally know what to say or do , because i pretty much hate my self i have had sex with way to many people for being 18 brice , wes , spencer , ryan , jon , kyle , ryan , andy , josh , steve , blane yeah , im reatrded . | | Tuesday, April 4th, 2006 | | 9:12 pm |
kinky
so im in love with this boy who like kinky things probly almost as much as i do :d so i put the handcuffs on his bed with the edible lotion , and he handcuffed me to him , so we had to pleasure eachother with out left hands , lol it was hard because were both not left handed , and we used the whips and had whip fights , yeah i still have a bruise on my leg ... then after our for play , we had amazing sex , yeah ... Current Mood:  cheerful | | Saturday, March 11th, 2006 | | 8:03 pm |
In Love
im in love , i think , but at the same time , im not to sure , because my body is trying to hold meback , so i dont get hurt , but i want to love him , hes the nicest guy who i have ever gone put with in my life , our relationship isnt based around us having sex, and its really nice , not haveing that presure there. Current Mood:  giddyCurrent Music: BETTER OFF | | Sunday, February 26th, 2006 | | 9:22 pm |
vanilla or chocolate
are you vanilla or chocolate when it comes to sex.. today i learned that i am a chocolate girl lol and i like bdsm ... Current Mood:  creative | | 9:11 pm |
ALTHOUGH JORDAN IS GONE I HAVE FOUND JOSH
I have these funny but exciting feelings in my stomach about josh i think i really like him :D i havent liked anyone like this in along time its weired to have butterflies in my stomach like this Current Mood:  amusedCurrent Music: hit me with your best shot | | Tuesday, February 21st, 2006 | | 10:13 pm |
WHAT I LEARNED
WHAT I HAVE JUST RECENTLY LEARNED IS THAT I CAN AMUSE MY SLEF AND ITS FUN LOL .... WOW IM A NERD LOL BUT I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP SO ILL WRITE AGAIN SOON ... | | 10:10 pm |
PART 3
SPONTAINIOUS THINGS Go for a car ride and ask people what direction you should travel and see where it takes you Kiss someone you really like who doesn't know it yet Dress up really weird and walk around the block waving to people you have never seen Print up a bunch of "lost pet" signs, instead make signs for a missing grilled cheese sandwich. Tape them up in lots of public places, and make sure people see you doing it. Be sure to look very sad. Sit in a large cardboard box on the side of the road with a sign that says, "Why lie? I need a BEER | | 10:07 pm |
(PART 2)
DANGEROUS THINGS TO DO Throw a tomato into a fan Cook Popcorn with the lid off Go bush jumping! I t's great fun but watch out for thorns | | 9:56 pm |
| | 2:18 pm |
todays lesson
IM PROBLY THE BIGGEST SLOBBY DRESSER IN THE WHOLE WORLD I WEAR SWEAT PANTS EVERY SINGLE DAY IM ALSO A HUGE PROCRASTINCATE ONE TIME I WAS CLEANING MY ROOM SO I MADE A MESS TO CLEAN BUT ITHE MESS OVER WHELMED ME SO I SLEPT IN MY LIVING ROOM FOR 2 WEEKS UNTIL MY MOM HELPED ME CLEAN QUESTION : IS IT WRONG TO GO AND CHILL OUT WITH É LIKE TO A MOVIE WITH ANOTHER GUY EVEN IF YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND , IM NOT SURE IF I ASKED JORDAN IF HE WOULD BE OK OR WHAT HE WOULD SAY BUT I AM GOING TO HANGO UT WITH MY FRIEND JOSH AND WERE GOING TO SEE A MOVIE | | Monday, February 20th, 2006 | | 9:28 pm |
WHAT I LEARNED TODAY
JORNAN- THINKS THAT MAYBE I SHOULDL IVE IN A BUBBLE THAT WAY I WOULDNT BE SICK SO MUCH , B.C I AM ALWAYS SICK AND IT IS STARTING TO PISS ME OFF anyways what learned today - today i was watching the animal network and this is what i learned - The lifespan of a squirrel is about nine years -Jellyfish like salt water. A rainy season often reduces the jellyfish population by putting more fresh water into normally salty waters where they live -All shrimp are born male, but slowly grow into females as they mature Current Mood:  coldCurrent Music: dance dance - fallout Boys | | Sunday, February 19th, 2006 | | 9:46 pm |
WHAT I LEARNED TODAY
sex without love is shallow and destructive AND REALLY in tthe end not worth it i like soup - i also new that before but i re-learned it today yeah im sure thats all that i learned today b.c all ive been doing is sleeping and eating soup | | 9:37 pm |
CURTIS
1. Name: JENNIFER COLLARD 2. Date of birth: MAY 31 1988 3. Where you live: REDCLIFF ALBERTA CANADA 4. What makes you happy: TALKING TO YOU AND HAVING SEX 5. Currently listening/the last thing you listened to: THE NEW FARSIGHTED CD 6. Do you read my journal?: YES 7. If yes, what makes it especially good or bad?: ITS INTRESTING 8. An interesting fact about you: I HAVE MY NIPPLE PEIRCED 9. Are you in love/do you have a crush at the moment?: NOT IN LOVE BUT I HAVE A BOYFRIEND 10. Favourite place to spend time: IN MY BED SLEEPING 11. Favourite lyric: DANCE DANCE 12. The best time of the year: fall or spring RECOMMEND 1. A film: 8 BELOW 2. A book: WHERE THE HEART IS 3. A band, a song, or album: FARSIGHTED OR TOBY KEITH PLUS 1. One thing you like about me: FUNNY 2. Two things you like about yourself: MY HAIR , AND MY BOOBS 3. Look at my friends-list and tell what you like about one of our mutual friends: 4. Put this in your journal so that I can tell you what I like about you. | | 9:22 pm |
im going crazy
SEX Sex is like air. It isn't important unless you're not getting any CRAZY i am slowly going crazy 1 2 3 4 5 6 crazy crazy crazy crazy The Purple Cow I never saw a purple cow I never hope to see one But I can tell you one thing I'd rather see than be one like said before i am going crazy !!!!!!!! Current Mood:  lazy | | Saturday, February 18th, 2006 | | 5:28 pm |
ahhhhh
i need some sex ...... Current Mood:  horny | | Saturday, February 11th, 2006 | | 11:48 pm |
IM EMBARKING ON A QUEST
A QUEST TO FIGURE OUT MY PURPOSE IN LIFE BY LEARNING SOMTHING NEW EACH DAY ... SO STAY POSTED TODAY I LEARNED ... THAT ONLY I CAN HELP MY SELF ... AND TAKE MY RELATIONSHIP WITH JORDAN SLOW EVEB THOUGH I AM GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH DRAWLS THAT MAYBE A PROBLEM FOR ME TOO DEAL WITH AND LIVE EACH DAY TO THE FULLEST Current Mood: indescribable | | Saturday, January 28th, 2006 | | 10:29 pm |
JOY ......."""""" HEHEH """"""........ YOJ
TODAY I GOT AN ASSULT CHARGE .. SOME LITTLE BRAUD PEPPER SPRAYED MY BROTHER BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT HE WAS SOMEONE ELSE SO I WAS JUST GONNA TALK TO HER AND YOU KNOW BE NICE AND JUST SAY WHAT THE FUCK ... BUT NO SHE HAD TO OPEN HER BIG MOUTH SO I GAVE HER AN UPER CUT ... AND SOMEONE CALLED THE POLICE HHAHA MY MOM AND DAD ARNT TO PROUD BUT THEY UNDERSTAND SO IM NOT EVEN GROUNDED ***THINGS THAT I ENJOY*** Talking with Curtis New socks Hoodies French fries woth lots of seasoning sat and mayo Popcorn Drawing random things Talking to myslef in 3rd person (jennifer said jennifer should go to the mall) Hanging out with my 2 nefews parker and jaxson Sleeping Rain dancing Sex Dance dance revoulution Extreme (PS2) Making people laugh Pinyotas (i know thats not how you spell it but i hope you get the idea) Cooking in my spandex shorts Finding random things ( like cheese) Cake Curious George Books Watching Movies either mute it or put in on in a different language and make up your own words Dancing like no one is watching even where people are watching stair slideing (if youve never done it go find a stair case and slide down head first) Chicken anything Oxymorons (JUMBO shrimp) Make korny jokes and tell them till people get mad (whats red and looks like a bucket ..a red bucket) Staying up without sleep until your so tired you cant sleep Nachos Rainbows Storms April Fools Day My Birthday Toby keiths Music Doing ridicoulous things Watersliding Flirting Pina Colada Juice mixed with iced tea or mango Juice cheesies Building things out of unordinary things Snakes Ferrits Perranas (also not spelt right) Kickboxing raspberry water (dasani) Spring Summer Fall Somtimes winter bananna peels (making hats and dancing with laura) typing while wearing gloves my blaknets on my bed quadding Camping bird catching (its hard ) Frog hunting all you can eat buffets moose calling ( calling the mooses or just running up and down the street with the moose caller) The song I DONT soup ¨¨¨¨Thats All For Now ¨¨¨¨ Turn ons A man in a suit and tie public displays of affection really slow foreplay food....like...cherries...chocalate...sy rups....mm m to just be grabbed and taken off to a secluded corner play fighting tickeling tattoos I like it rough kisses my neck and collarbone mirrors being teased a sexy voice massages feathes oxford long sleeve button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up just below the elbows showing off his strong toned forearms an hot mand with a sexy chest in jeans with no shirt THATS ALL FOR NOW THERE WILL BE MORE BUT IM JUST GETTING TIRED OF WRITING THINGS THAT TURN ME ON ¨¨:¨¨ THIS IS FOR YOU CURTIS ¨¨:¨¨ SEX The Doggy Style The female is on all fours as the male penetrates her from the rear. The Hoovering of the Floor The male stands behind the female and lifts her by the thighs, pulling her vagina onto his penis. She supports herself on her hands. Try walking around the room while doing this The Playing of the Cello She lies on her back and places her ankles on one of his shoulders. He clings onto her shins while thrusting. His hands can fondle her breasts at the same time. The Riding of the Steer He lies on his back while she ‘sits’ on his penis. She lifts herself up and down by gripping his kneecaps and he guides her with his hands on her buttocks The Persuading of the Debtor The male kneels down and lifts the female’s legs up over his shoulders as though attempting to empty her pockets of small change. He then slides his penis downwards into her. The Persuading of the Debtor The male kneels down and lifts the female’s legs up over his shoulders as though attempting to empty her pockets of small change. He then slides his penis downwards into her. The Sitting on the Toilet The male lies on his back with his knees bent forming the shape of a toilet. She sits on his penis and moves up and down. Great for circus acts. The Rocking Recliner He lies on his back. She is on all fours facing upwards and moves back and forth. The Black Bee He sits down with his hands placed on the floor behind his back. She sits on top of him with her hands on his shoulders while moving up and down. The Missionary Position The most popular of the positions. She opens her legs as he positions himself between them in place for the most direct penetration. The simple thrust of the hips gives an easy and effective in - out action. The Upright Doggy Same as the doggy position woman kneels upright. She may put her hands on his thighs or buttocks for more leverage. The Side Entry MIssionary She lies on her side while he penetrates her from behind, as he would in the missionary position The Proposal She kneels down with her legs apart. He kneels down in front of her with one knee on the ground as though he is proposing to her and penetrates her. The Spoon She lies on her side and he penetrates her from behind in a side on position. Ideal for men with a large penis size. The Sixty Niner For lovers of oral sex! Both give and receive at the same time. Either partner can be on top. Ideal for same sex partners as well. The Squashing of the Deckchair She lies on her back with her legs pulled up and he holds them in place with his arms. Ideal for deep penetration. The Lady on Top He lies on his back and she climbs on top of him and slides up and down on his penis The Watching of the Cricket He sits on his favourite armchair while she sits on him. He can watch cricket on TV at the same time! THATS ALL FOR NOW FOLKS ... LOL Current Mood:  bouncy |
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